where

sweet to see and soft to touch
but he might be the one that doesnt care very much.
kindest heart and not so pretty

but he might be the one asphyxiated by the city.

female confusion, of course

live large, dance in the dark

jerk off
assert yourself
masculinity
egotism
supremacy.
...but its all just a question, isnt it?

Cocaine Stains

He took that hit and look up in the skies, colors blurred and blended. He let out a whimper, this is what his life has come to, inside he weeps but on the outside he thrashes at the world, bearing his teeth and clawing at demons. A wave of energy before a deathly calm, chemistry takes over his brain patterns and his life cycle starts again.

survival of the fittest

it had a purpose, it had a reason.

to eradicate the unmanly, who wouldnt last the winter season.

solitaire

while i struggle to believe it, i made it home.

only then, then did i realise i was alone...

Madness fills my heart and soul
as if the great devide could swallow me whole
I've become
A simple souvenir of someone's kill

the hunt

im trying day by day to find a place where light still shines
where hearts still beat
and hope still grows....

The Killing Moon.

You see, he promised her the world, but all he came back with was grass clippings.
Its the little things that remind us how desperately we hold onto that which we desire,
the memories that allow us to keep putting on that face,
that everything is alright,
when really nothing is right,
the world is not succinct and ticking in synchonize,
there is something clearly very wrong,
and nobody is brave enough to say anything.

Its all a little much sometimes

why stress it?

charm

she felt the ecstasy of pure honeyed light in her veins, like being infused with the soul she had lost

the inevitable was coming, that she could feel in her bones, but she had nowhere left to run, nowhere left to hide.

Demonsss

So what if its a Monday afternoon, the aftershock of the weekend entices me.

Medicate

Sometimes its better to just laugh it off and say,
"Lets get fucked up"

winters bite

i tried to be strong but i couldnt hold on

i stained you gold
but you only faded away
left me alone while you danced with the wind.

endings feel not unlike a fall

i woke up in a world that wanted nothing but my soul

nothing but my heart
and nothing but my hand.
i told a man i wanted nothing to do with him
and from then, i knew i would have nothing to do with any
for i had not the will to control those who wanted more:
...than my demise.

You washed over me

My dear, you washed over me
but just as quickly as you came you left
leaving only fragments behind
in my mind, you Echo

narcissus

when he saw himself there, at the bottom of the river bed, he could think of nothing else

nothing but the crystal cut features, the rich hair and piercing eyes
he was so entranced that he spent days, weeks even, at the edge of the river, peering upon himself
until one day he decided he had to be with himself and took the plunge, only to never rise upwards to the surface again.

The Coward I am.

And I know things are broken,
And though there are too many words left unsaid,
you say you have spoken,
but the coward I am, I hang my head.

Have you ever had that feeling where your heart feels 2x bigger but its hanging from a noose, when your heart feels like glass in your throat and if you swallow everything will shatter? loss and greif, perhaps a death. Its like a curse, and I'd wish that upon nobody.

pygmalion

i caressed ivory skin, cold hands and hard bones

i kissed unflinching lips and tried and tried
if only you had been real, my love
and if only, so could i.

Anthem

And now that the fragmented memories of you have crystallized in my mind, I continue to evade the possibility, that everything I have said, done and been, has been nothing more than hollowness, that has tried to crack through anything original, we all reach a point where the dark takes us, its not a physical thing, its just that snap in personality, emotion and being. Possible augmentation is a side effect, but for some, it becomes an excuse to recluse. Do not let yourself snap.

pivot

on floral sheets that she had spent night after insomniac night upon he told her that all he wanted was to save her.
he held her close and let his warmth envelop her, let their bodies become one.
when she finally found her voice she whispered softly into his ear:
"its too late. im beyond saving. beyond life beyond death
beyond you beyond me
beyond ocean and sea
beyond young, old, hot, cold, happy, sad, good bad, sane, mad.
im lost in this world and im drowning in it - as time passes im only fading and you can only become white noise, a blurred figure. walk away from me while you can. save yourself"

Combinations.

 People always told me be careful of what you do
Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
And mother always told me be careful of who you love
Be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth

Stars

 We sat beneath the stars, your stars, they were all for you.
My heart beat harder and quicker, all for you.
Breathing was made easy, this is how it was.
Nothing was complicated, except who we were.

who are we all? if only i knew...
who are you John Churchill?

FROM WINTER TO SPRING

And everything was good for a while. It was winter and there was this boy with hair white as sand who liked the beach and we’d snuggle for warmth from the winter winds and kiss so gently and be together. But then gradually our links dissolved and we parted as it got too hard and the distance got too far. Then things went downhill and I turned to my cigarettes and coffee and anything else that would suppress my growing hunger. But none of it worked. And then this villain started calling me late at night, early in the morning. And he was tempting and sweet to see and I knew he would turn me bad from the inside out but there was nothing else and no one else so I followed him into the woods, never looking back.

But in the woods was a wolf. And the villain sat by my side and we became friend and the wolf made me smile as his fingertips, so light, he ran over my legs as he tried to take them elsewhere. I’d met the wolf before and I’d liked him so much. Or the idea of him. Then in the forest the sand haired boy came back and my heart strings twanged three different notes. Then the clocked struck a dark hour and I began my journey home.

I thought about the wolf, the villain and the sand haired boy constantly, like a standoff in my mind. Every now and then I spoke to the villain and the wolf, but not the sand haired boy for that had gone as winter thawed. But now, the villain has stopped calling. And I’m afraid that there is a darker evil out there. Or, more afraid that maybe there isn’t.

THE INVISIBLE GIRL

she didnt realise it was possible to dissapear

until no longer at her door they were knocking
no one acknowledged. and she, dissolved into air

A VISIT TO THE GYPSIES

i traveled hours to see them, i traveled very far
to rolling hills and open skies, overflowing at night with stars
but they didnt even want me, they sent me on my way
with arms of flowers and eyes of tears, in a state of disarray.

Creation Illumination

Illuminate me, leave with your jet black skies, pull you cape up from my sky, reveal yourself from your veil, we cant stand the cold anymore, warm me with your gaze, and attract me with your warmth, then leave me as you turn around and pull your veil down before your face, drag your cloak over me and envelop me in the darkness, because as soon as you come, ill be expecting you to leave, unloving, unquestioning and unforgiving. It'll be pointed as my fault, but your as constant as the sun and the night.

Dinosaur

I know you suffer for my art,
Always pulling us apart,
Your forever in my brain,
Even when I cause you pain.

 We have all turned into your puppets,

nobody sees it,

but I know you do,

and I can see the glimmer of happiness.

17

I'm 17 today,
dont feel any different,
interesting,
slight flashbacks.